Sweet Dreams and Bitter Tea

Now ain't this somthin': Here I am, lying in bed (well sitting for all intents and purposes), sick. That's right, coughing, sneezy, stuffy head, the whole she-bang, and its just killing me.  No, not the cold---just the mere fact that I'm sitting at home while the whole world whizzes away to work, making useful of themselves.  It's never been easy for me to miss a day of work.  It's a laziness complex I think.  I was raised to think that if you weren't working, something was wrong, and trouble would soon follow. Duty calls at ALL times. It NEVER takes a break, and neither must I. So..., "UP AND AT IT!--SNAP TO IT!--GET UP LAZY BUMS!  That's right, lazy bums, haha!  --Old school, I know. I suppose though, that it;s contributed to a strong work ethic...or has it?  I mean, I'm prone to working myself to the bone, falling sick, and still carrying on, out of fear of being perceived as skipping out on labor, or having something I'm responsible for come undone.  Sucks either way.

Last night I actually had a nightmare about staying home today: My team leader actually got upset and hung up the phone on me when I called her to say I was sick and staying in.  That was after I also discovered that my bedroom wall was caving in after a refrigerator leaked into it from the opposite side, washing in a pickled tub of disgusting cockroaches and other insectules (yeah insectules--it's MY blog, alright).

I always like and pay attention to these types of dreams.  Their impact lingers long after the day has started, and their true meaning develops slowly, and then suddenly, kinda like a scratch and sniff.

What this dream says about me is that I still, obviously, have some fears of owning my own choices when they are the best ones for me, even in the midst of crises (e.g. refrigerator waterloo), OR feeling like I need a crises in order to make good decisions for myself.
Sucks either way.

If you're someone who loves self-analysis (like yours truly) these are little treats from the midnight hour.  Long-lasting well into the following day..hidden self truths to nibble and knaw on, until you reach their core, and find, "aha! Surprise!" -- You! ...standing there all warm and welcoming ready to embrace this new self-awareness, which ultimately starts the cycle to developing more strength.  So here's to more sweet dreams!  ....and less of this lemon and tea concoction!
(Sucks!)


Signed,
P.S.